Dear Anonymous:
You should ask yourself, why do you think you need a religion and what is it your really looking for?
The path to truth and God is a two way street and it sounds like you need to open up proper lines of communication.
What are you looking for and what are you waiting for?
If you're looking for enlightenment and truth then there are many paths. But it is a personal undertaking and everyone has different needs and individual Karmic patterns.
The reason why certain orthodox religions don't always answer the most important questions is because it is sometimes impossible to have a one size fits all way to truth. Some of us may take longer to pluck up the courage to truly knock on the door of truth. Maybe you feel uncomfortable with the idea of God but still sense a Spiritual force and need. If this is the case maybe Buddhism may be worth investigating .
Find a Spiritual Teacher whose teaching and voice resonates within your heart. While you contemplate your path which is the most important path you will ever take.
I recommend that you read, study and practise some basic techniques of Hatha Yoga. Join a Yoga class to get started. Try and practise a simple meditation. Check out the Spiritual Planet's expansion exercises.
It will help you gradually to clear your mind of your emotional and mental confusion which we all experience at some time or another. If you can clear the mind a little it will help you to see the wood from the trees. Be guided by what your heart prompts you. Controlling and centering the mind will definitely help.
Here is a brief Tarot reading regarding your question:
You must have heard of the saying, "God helps those who help themselves". This seems to be the crux of the problem at the moment. You have come though a period of loss and or a split from someone or something that gave you emotional and spiritual purpose. You feel you are in a void, but thinking of the past and indulging in nostalgic fantasy will prevent you from moving forward.
"She lives in a world of romance, in the perpetual dream of rapture."
At certain points in our life we just have to move on. You need people for support and can be very helpful to other people.
If our efforts to move on emotionally are directed positively then Nature will invariable co-operate with us and provide an avenue for our needs.
There is sadness, reflection and loss but somehow you must break away from the past, because there will be opportunities that indicate rebirth, hope, and expectation, if you can stop harbouring grudging feelings and resentments and open up and let go!
Someone is looking for your forgiveness and you should offer it gladly and unconditionally and with Joy.
Very soon life will change and benefit may come from a younger person who is enterprising; that will be creatively satisfying and/or bring Spiritual sustenance to your life.
I do hope you
find your path.
